FEBRUARY IS TEEN DATING VIOLENCE AWARENESS & PREVENTION MONTH

SAY SOMETHING when you see a red flag of dating violence in yours or a friend's relationship.

Dating & Violence should NOT be a couple

TDVAM 2025 A call to action for young people and those who support them to engage in meaningful conversations about healthy relationships and navigate what may be unhealthy or even abusive.

Dating Violence is:

Dating violence is violence or the threat of violence by a person with whom the individual is or has been in a social relationship of a romantic or intimate nature. Whether such a relationship exists will be gauged by its length, type, and the frequency of interaction. Wheaton College Title IX

Know the Signs:

Do you know how to identify the signs of dating violence? The first step in stopping abuse is by knowing what it looks like. Abuse can take many shapes and forms. If someone you know demonstrate any of these signs:

• Physical bruises, scrapes, or abrasions
• Unexplained violent mood swings
• Fear of disappointing their dating partner
• Displaying submissive behavior while with their dating partner
• Depression, anxiety, or other emotional distress
• Drug or alcohol use, or
• Spending less time with old friends.

Ask them about their relationship and encourage them to seek support or get out of the relationship. Unhealthy or abusive relationships take many forms, and there is not one specific behavior that causes a relationship to be categorized as such. However, there are certain behaviors that should be cause for concern. Behaviors that should raise a red flag include:

• Excessive jealousy or insecurity
• Invasions of your privacy
• Unexpected bouts of anger or rage
• Unusual moodiness
• Pressuring a partner into unwanted sexual activity
• Blaming you for problems in the relationship and not taking any responsibility for the same
• Controlling tendencies
• Explosive temper     
• Preventing you from going out with or talking to other people
• Constantly monitoring your whereabouts and checking in to see what you are doing and who you are with

• Falsely accusing you of things
• Vandalizing or ruining your personal property
• Taunting or bullying
• Threatening or causing physical violence

If your partner frequently engages in these behaviors, it may be wise to speak with someone with whom you feel comfortable. Adults who have experience with relationships may be able to provide advice that can help you to determine if you are in any danger.

If You Think You Are in an Abusive Relationship

If your partner exhibits any of the behaviors outlined above, or if your partner has physically harmed you in any way, there are many things you can do. Trust your gut – if you think you are in danger or in an unhealthy relationship, you should end it. If you are afraid of confronting your partner, or fearful of what they may say or do, there are numerous resources you can contact for help, guidance, or counseling. If you think you are in an abusive relationship, consider:

• Contact the Wheaton College Equity & Title IX Office or visit TIX Sexual Misconduct       website to make a report here.
• Seek a session with a counselor on campus at Wheaton College Counseling Center or local counseling agency
• Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE (7233).

Studies have found that negative or abusive behaviors in unhealthy relationships are more likely to increase over time. Abuse escalates as the relationship progresses, and victims/survivors are more likely to sustain substantial injuries or harm. If you believe that you may be in an abusive or unhealthy relationship do not hesitate to ask for help.

Facts about Dating Violence on College Campuses (Partnership Against Domestic Violence – Padv.org):

• In fact, according to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, college-aged women (between the ages of 16-24) have the highest per capita rate of intimate partner violence.
• 21% of college students report having experienced dating violence by a current partner, an
• 32% of college students report experiencing dating violence by a previous partner.
• 70% of young adults don’t realize they’re being abused by their partner. When they do know, they resist reporting because of the overlapping closed social networks on a college campus which have the potential to make them feel trapped in their circumstances (Healing Abuse Working for Change HAWC.org)
• Peer pressure, the presence of drugs and alcohol, stressful schedules, tight-knit friend groups and social media contribute to higher rates of abuse, sexual assault and stalking for students.
• Young adults often have limited relationship experience and may never have had someone talk with them about what healthy, affirming relationships should look like. 
• Experiencing violence and abuse in the home, as well as unhealthy and abusive dating relationships in high school can also increase the risk for someone finding themselves in an abusive relationship in college.

Healthy Relationships

Healthy relationships help create a future where we can all thrive together in our communities. We can choose both who we want to be in a relationship with and how we want to be in a relationship. When we consider the how, we can live in mutuality in our relationships and be our best selves. Below are some characteristics and behaviors of a healthy relationship:

• Mutuality – Sharing of our authentic selves that allow for us to see each other clearly and engaging each other with honesty, balance, and support.
• Respect – Valuing each other’s beliefs and opinions. Loving and appreciating one another for who we are as people.
• Kindness – Caring and understanding of one another’s feelings. Providing comfort and support to each other.
• Trust – Knowing that your partner is honest, and you feel safe and secure in the relationship.
• Honesty – Being truthful and open without fearing how the other person will respond.
• Independence – Creating space to be yourself outside of the relationship and have other friendships and relationships with people you care about. Participating in activities that center you and do not always include your partner.
• Comfortable Pace – Discussing your boundaries and respecting decisions to do or not do something and agree on how slow or fast the relationship is moving. Moving at a speed that feels enjoyable to all.
• Healthy Conflict – Listening respectfully to one another and discussing issues and addressing disagreements without judgment.
• Taking Responsibility– Accepting responsibility for your own actions and words. Apologizing, understand the impact of your actions, repairing the harm, and, most importantly, changing your behavior so the harm does not happen again.
• Fun – Spending time doing fun things together. Bringing out the best in each other.